Feeling Better About Feeling Bad

   Seems everywhere I turn, people are so darn happy...

Have you ever noticed that on those darkest, dankest days

the whole rest-of-the-world seems happy?  Ugh.

    And you (me really, I can’t speak for you) try to get real,

and post your real feelings on 

facebook- I know what you’re thinking, dumb move. Some  seem to relate, while others label you depressed- man I truly dislike that word. I mean can't a girl have a down day...or two...or five?

   I’m an open book.  I just can’t seem to hide my feelings and walk around all cheery-ho while lacking lustre.  I try to keep to myself in these moments but it’s so darn lonely. I sometimes write about my darkness- trying to find light in my musings. And to be honest- this actually works for me.

   Different things bring me down.  

Sometimes I simply feel inundated with life’s little surprises, one or two I can handle, it’s when they pile up; like my computer crashing and my basement flooding all while trying to prepare for some sort of show and having windows put in by dorky window guys- all whilst being this introvert who DOES enjoy people but really needs her down time as well…

  Sometimes it’s an anniversary, like the passing of a parent or even the death of my first marriage…or a deep dark memory from many moons ago….

   Sometimes it’s just a feeling that I’m weird and don’t fit in…and yet I so love being an individual , but it does take courage to express truth- because sometimes folks just don’t like to hear different…I probably need to work on this one…

The thing is I truly believe if it were sunny all the time, nothing could grow.  Plants need the rain, the water, and we need to feel ALL of our emotions- WITHOUT SHAME.

   When did feeling anything other than ‘good’ become such a sin?

Especially when every tough moment brings growth.  It’s true, the tears, the water, the clouds, even the storms- they are all essential and every bit as important as the sun.  

   For sure, we all feel better when the sun is shining, but I’m not sure life is about feeling great in every moment.  I know…that sounds weird right?  I mean, somewhere we learned being happy is the whole driving force of our life.  This will make us happy, that will make us happy, he will make me happy, she will make me happy…How to be happy all the time- I’m sorry, I feel we’ve been fed a lie.  The purpose of life is not to be happy, it’s to grow our hearts.  And sometimes pain comes from growth- in fact often.  Pain is our contrast, it helps us become clear about what we don’t want…I know I know, we don’t want to feel pain…but I think avoiding it is dangerous.

    The best self-help books I’ve ever read have been the ones about acceptance.  Learning to love and accept ALL parts of ourselves, the light and the darkness.  

    Our shadow- we all have one, the place in our head where we feel jealous or angry, or catty…or is that caddy…anyways, that place we hide because God forbid, someone knows we are HUMAN.

     

      I write…I need to write, to share, that what we feel- in any moment is real. It’s OK. It’s normal. It’s human. It’s truth. It’s imperfect, sometimes ugly, sometimes not nice.  So many of our darker thoughts come from feeling inferior- but  we ALL have these moments where we feel like a speck of dust.  And I think we all have moments where we shine brightly.

  We are duality- positive and negative- and maybe it’s time to feel, just a bit better, about feeling bad.

Here...my new blog, is where I will share and bare it all- not literally because -natch-you would not want to see that- But if you need a place of confirmation of your beautiful imperfection, a place where you can feel normal about felling abnormal- a place where you can find a ray of light in your darkness- I hope I can give you this. 

    Feeling Dark and dank on a rainy day

From my heart to yours,

xoxo

Sharron

Painting- In God's Hands